Spiritual Foraging: The End of an Era

I guess it's fitting that she left in the Fall. After 18 years and a little over 328,000 miles. Some of you won't understand this attachment, others know it well - and that's just fine. In October 1993, I leased a 1994 Honda Civic EX Coupe who became known as L.C. for Little Car (and pronounced Elsie). Her name evolved because the person that I was dating at the time had an old Honda Civic wagon we called Wonder Car since it was 4-wheel drive and we used to drive it into snow banks trying unsuccessfully to get it stuck. It just seemed natural that they share part of their name since they were from the same family.

Elsie has protected me for 18 years and even though we were in about 6 accidents over that time (only two were my fault - one very minor, one pretty major), I was never injured. She also never left me stranded in an unsafe situation. If she couldn't go any further for some reason, she found the safest possible place to stop. When her master computer board failed, she managed to get me to work and stopped at the guard booth - we had to push her into the parking lot. When her alternator failed, she made it off the highway to the side of the exit ramp. When her battery had no spark left, it was at home several times - the safest place to be. When her cooling system failed on the highway, we managed to limp off our exit and get to a gas station without any major damage to her engine.

I know her inside and out and it will be very hard for me to see her for the last time. I miss her and all her teachings to me. After this last accident, I had to crawl out of the passenger window into the ditch we were in due to the damage to the driver's side and I still wasn't hurt. No one could understand why I was so upset. "Cars can be fixed", the police officer said. He didn't understand. She wasn't going to be fixed and I knew it.

Elsie told me, "This is the way it's supposed to be." Because the accident wasn't my fault, insurance will give me some money towards another car. If she had just stopped running, I wouldn't have gotten anything... A friend told me a saying that helped a lot. From Elsie: "You were my whole life, and I was just a part of yours." I believe that Everything is Alive and has Spirit, including cars and stones, and buildings. Elsie was herself and she also represented a lot of things to me. That's what I'm working with now. She was part of who I am, so how do I "be me" without her? She was my connection to the past and a constant in my life. Now what connects me and holds my past? She represents the finiteness of Life and the ever presence of Change. Neither of which we can predict - only adapt to and work with. People recognized her and identified her - and I liked that. I could find her easily in a parking lot, too :) Now all cars look the same to me...

So, for now, Elsie has sent me Renty. He is a 2011 Honda Civic with some annoying habits. No power locks, 4 doors, automatic transmission, strange non-intuitive control placements, poor visibility, no cruise control, etc. He is my transitional car - he is very reliable and an attractive dark blue color. I am listening to Elsie as I look for my next car and I'm beginning to be excited to see who she sends me. It won't be the same but then again, she always protected me, so I'm sure she's got a plan in the works...