The Jump - By the Numbers

When Scout jumped into the back of my car with me she had invested 7 weeks in not trusting people.  That is 49 days or 1176 hours.  I had approached her the previous day and spent about 30 minutes in her presence.  When I returned on Tuesday, Allie and I spent 3 hours following her, playing with her, cajoling her, feeding her, watching her retreat, seeing her circle us and the car, and sensing her hesitancy.  At the end of that 3 hours (and the 1/2 hour the previous day), Scout jumped into the back seat of the car.  She had spent 1176 hours not trusting people and not being caught and not jumping into anyone's car and after 0.3% of that invested time had passed, she TOTALLY REVERSED her position.  In just 3 hours, she reinvented herself and changed her habit of at least 1176 hours. 

I stand in awe of this feat.  It would be equivalent to me changing a lifetime habit of 42 years in only 46 days. 

So, I'm thinking I need to reconsider some of my habits.  What habits occur to you that you might change?  If we can learn from Scout, it probably won't take long.  I'm guessing that one of Scout's skills was not being attached to her pattern.  She probably wasn't wondering, "What will the other dogs think of me if I change now?" or "I'm right not to trust anyone, I know I'm right, I'm really sure that I'm right!" or "It's too late anyway, I'm too old, I've been doing this too long, I can't change now."

What can I release attachment to?  It might be a bit more complicated for people than dogs - or is it?  I'm going to try and be like Scout - who might I be if I could change a habit or two?  Where might I live, what friends might I make, how much could I learn and how deeply would I sleep?  If I could change like Scout...

Thank you, Scout.  For trusting us and coming home.

Building Capacity

One of Scout's "assignments" if she wants to live here, is to be gentle with our cats.  There are several of them and they each have their own personality.  Jinx and Archie took a day or so to figure her out and decided that she would respect their space, so they have returned to their normal behaviors as if they have known Scout for years. 

Quick is a semi-feral rescue kitty who sometimes wants to spend time with me though often chooses simply to decorate our furniture - and he does that well with his handsome silver tabbiness.  Quickie handles himself just fine.  His few feral habits - hiding, sneaking away, hissing and bolting are all useful in the presence of an unknown dog.  Scout likes to give a bit of chase, though I know that Quick will always prevail.

Little Cat is another story.  Little Cat is the kitten who showed up on our deck last year one week to the day after my beloved car L.C. (Elsie) was totaled.  Little Cat is named for Little Car - a great honor to be sure.  Little Cat has never been afraid of dogs, even when she was a very sick little kitten.  She had no fear of Allie or Allie's friend Bailey (who had very little cat experience.)

Little Cat is afraid of Scout.  Little Cat runs and Scout gleefully chases her.  Not what I want.  I'm pretty sure it's not what Little Cat wants either, though Scout seems fine with the whole deal :)  I just need to know that the chase is playful and not "huntful".  If it's playful, it all works out fine.  This last hurdle has been preventing me from considering that Scout might stay with us.  What about Little Cat?  She needs to feel some security, some sense of her belonging and her place in the household.  What to do?

Last night, I got up in the wee hours of the morning to use the bathroom (get it, the wee hours??)  Little Cat came into the bathroom while I was there as she often does.  I had not seen her much, nor petted her at all since Scout had arrived.  She let me pick her up and snuggle her and fuss over her (which she does not always allow.)  We had a conversation about she and Scout for a few minutes and then I set her down on the spare room bed and returned to my bed for some more sleep.

This evening when we arrived home (all the dogs were with me today to visit the chiropractor) I noticed Little Cat walking around.  Hmmm....  This won't last, I thought to myself.  She strolled around the dining room twirling her tail.  Hmmm....  No running.  Scout saw her and they looked at each other and then went on about their business.  This happened several times over a half hour or so and then Little Cat screwed up her courage and walked RIGHT PAST Scout into the kitchen as Scout lay in the entire doorway.  "Wow," I thought, "what's up with this??"  Then I remembered talking with Little Cat the night before.  I had said to her, "All you have to do Little Cat is not run.  Just don't run, stand your ground a few times and it will all be fine.  I believe in your capacity to learn and grow from this and I believe in Scout's capacity to learn and grow, too."

Whether or not my "words" meant anything to Little Cat, or Scout, I'll never know.  Does it matter though?  Was it my intention?  Was it that I said, "I believe in you?"  Was it just the act of believing?  What if I could believe in my own capacity to learn and grow as easily as I believe in them?

I'll start here, "I believe in my capacity to learn and grow from this."  Let's see what happens...

Taking Risks

Right now, Scout is lying upside down on the end of my bed with all four paws in the air, sleeping.  She is sleeping so thoroughly that she's dreaming upside down.  This is the most vulnerable position for any animal to be in, belly exposed and asleep.  Considering that 5 days ago, no human could get within 5 feet of this dog, this is quite amazing to me.  This is the pose, though taken earlier today.

 

I've relived Tuesday several times and am amazed by Scout's ability to trust and take risks. She had to give up her life to get another life and she did not know what she would get. When Scout chose to jump into the back seat of my car, she chose the unknown over the known. It was very important to me that she get in the car of her own volition. Somehow that confirmed to me that she wanted this change, no matter how scared she was.

My lesson from Scout is that we have to let go of one life to get another. She let go of that "old life" when she screwed up every last bit of courage she had and followed me into the back seat of that strange car.
We have to let go of one life to get another.  No matter how good or bad that "old life" is - we have to let it go if we want something else and that's a risk.  Maybe after we take that risk we get to sleep on our backs with our paws in the air dreaming - for the first time in a long time.

We have to let go of one life to get another.  Scout had total freedom and unlimited Wendy's food all day long - perhaps a dream life for some dogs :)  Scout chose to make a change - I've promised her a good life whether with us or another family.  I will never forget her lesson in bravery and what can happen when we take the risk to trust - and jump into the unknown.

Thanks for the lesson, Scout.  Welcome to the rest of your life...

The End of an Era

I guess it's fitting that she left in the Fall.  After 18 years and a little over 328,000 miles.  Some of you won't understand this attachment, others know it well - and that's just fine.  In October 1993, I leased a 1994 Honda Civic EX Coupe who became known as L.C. for Little Car (and pronounced Elsie).  Her name evolved because the person that I was dating at the time had an old Honda Civic wagon we called Wonder Car since it was 4-wheel drive and we used to drive it into snow banks trying unsuccessfully to get it stuck.  It just seemed natural that they share part of their name since they were from the same family.

Elsie has protected me for 18 years and even though we were in about 6 accidents over that time (only two were my fault - one very minor, one pretty major), I was never injured.  She also never left me stranded in an unsafe situation.  If she couldn't go any further for some reason, she found the safest possible place to stop.  When her master computer board failed, she managed to get me to work and stopped at the guard booth - we had to push her into the parking lot.  When her alternator failed, she made it off the highway to the side of the exit ramp.  When her battery had no spark left, it was at home several times - the safest place to be.  When her cooling system failed on the highway, we managed to limp off our exit and get to a gas station without any major damage to her engine.

I know her inside and out and it will be very hard for me to see her for the last time.  I miss her and all her teachings to me.  After this last accident, I had to crawl out of the passenger window into the ditch we were in due to the damage to the driver's side and I still wasn't hurt.  No one could understand why I was so upset.  "Cars can be fixed", the police officer said.  He didn't understand.  She wasn't going to be fixed and I knew it.

Elsie told me, "This is the way it's supposed to be."  Because the accident wasn't my fault, insurance will give me some money towards another car.  If she had just stopped running, I wouldn't have gotten anything...  A friend told me a saying that helped a lot.  From Elsie:  "You were my whole life, and I was just a part of yours."  I believe that Everything is Alive and has Spirit, including cars and stones, and buildings.  Elsie was herself and she also represented a lot of things to me.  That's what I'm working with now.  She was part of who I am, so how do I "be me" without her?  She was my connection to the past and a constant in my life.  Now what connects me and holds my past?  She represents the finiteness of Life and the ever presence of Change.  Neither of which we can predict - only adapt to and work with.  People recognized her and identified her - and I liked that.  I could find her easily in a parking lot, too :)  Now all cars look the same to me...

So, for now, Elsie has sent me Renty.  He is a 2011 Honda Civic with some annoying habits.  No power locks, 4 doors, automatic transmission, strange non-intuitive control placements, poor visibility, no cruise control, etc.  He is my transitional car - he is very reliable and an attractive dark blue color.  I am listening to Elsie as I look for my next car and I'm beginning to be excited to see who she sends me.  It won't be the same but then again, she always protected me, so I'm sure she's got a plan in the works...

Thank you, Elsie, for 18 years - almost to the day.  October 1993-September 27th, 2011

My Speedometer

So I was driving along in my very old car.  The speedometer hasn't worked in a few months.  The speedometer needle - it's an old car, no digital readouts for us - was pegged at below zero (i.e., it had wildly spun around all the way past 120mph and stuck down underneath 0 when it stopped working.)  As I was driving I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be great if my speedometer worked again?  That would be really great.  And safer, too.  I wonder how much it would cost to fix my speedometer?  I don't know much about how speedometers work - I wonder if it's hard to repair one?" 

I noticed the needle moving a little bit, just a little wiggle even though it was still pegged below zero.  I thought to myself, "It really might be in the best interest of myself and others if my speedometer worked again."  Can't hurt to ask, right?  There was some magic in the air...

So I said aloud a few times, "Archangel Michael, it would be really great if my speedometer worked again.  If it's in the best interest of others and myself, it would be great if my speedometer worked again."  At this time, my speedometer needle was wiggling a little bit and then suddenly dropped to read approximately 80mph (I was going about 35mph).  The needle stayed in that area and I noticed that it would react opposite to my speed - in other words if I went faster, the speedometer read slower and if I slowed down the speedometer read faster.  Despite this strange behavior, I considered this significant progress :) 

As I experimented with my gas pedal (slightly :) to see how the speedometer reacted, I said aloud, "Archangel Michael, I know that anything that is in the best interest of myself and others can be manifested.  I know that this is possible and I know that if it is in the best interest of myself and others that my speedometer begin working again, that it can happen.  I know that I can manifest anything that is in the best interest of myself and others and I thank you for this awareness."

As soon as I said this the speedometer needle dropped to an accurate speed and remained accurate, tracking my speed correctly and reading, at least approximately :), correctly.  Wow!  Pretty cool in my book...  This whole "repair" took about 10 minutes, I would guess - quicker than a mechanic, I'll bet.

So I guess that Spiritual Foraging is also about experimentation to me.  What the heck, right?  Why not ask an Archangel to fix my speedometer?  My learning is to always ask, remember that anything in the best interest of myself and others can become real, and always say, "Thanks!"

What is Spiritual Foraging?

To me it is Conversations.  Conversations with Nature, Human Guides, Arch- and Other Angels, Ascended Masters, Horses, Dogs, Cats, the Wind, God, Wild Creatures, Skeptical People, Spirit Guides, Birds, Reiki Guides, Other Foragers, Stones, Cars, Feathers, Plants, the Seasons, Guardian Angels, and Myself, among others...  Listening and hearing, questions and answers, giving and receiving.

Every Journey...

...no matter how long, starts with one step. Some journeys begin without ceremony or actual knowledge that a first step had been taken. Now that I look back and see where I've come from and how far - the journey is apparent. There are things behind me and things ahead of me and I'm just taking one step at a time, sometimes stumbling, sometimes running, sometimes falling. Finding knowledge along the way - the nuts and berries that keep me going. A spiritual squirrel stashing things away for another time or another meal or a snowy day. I remember where I put them, but I don't know when I'll need them.

I suppose that I'll know when I know.